Life should constitute being satisfied with what you have, and acknowledging it as you have chosen to live it. Yet people are constantly desirous of what others have, the way others live, and how others look. Being sucked in by this jealousy compromises our ability to fully live our own lives. It drags us around. This ugly emotion serves no purpose other than self destruction. We crave material goods, like cars and houses, but also perceived happiness. Why do we want what others have, and why, once we get it, are we not assuaged? This is not new – it has been said before in many ways and deep inside, we all know it, but putting it into practice requires an open heart, a steady soul and, most importantly, a willingness to believe in yourself.
When we start to question ourselves our inner health begins to diminish. It is fundamental to our emotional, and ultimately physical, wellbeing that we find ways to be happy with what we have and who we are. If that is impossible, then it is essential to find the courage to be able to make it something with which we will be appeased. I think I keep returning to this idea because it is so vital to an individual’s happiness, and also because it is a lesson I have learned firsthand.
To begin, we must look inward, and not at what is going on around us. Unless we are happy with our core being, nothing around us will make us happy negative energy will radiates back out. I am a prime example, so I speak from experience, unlike many others who are quick to give advice out, yet live by opposing rules.
For years, I experienced intense lack of self esteem – I was insecure and had no positive body image, even though looking back at pictures of myself I wasn’t overweight by any means. I would try over and over to ‘lose a couple pounds’ but never completely applied myself, and constantly believed that I wouldn’t be able to do it. So I remained the same size, and I just felt even worse. Many changes in my life slowly built up my inner confidence, but I always had niggling doubts inside that would not leave. You can have people telling you you are pretty, that you look OK, but if you doubt yourself, then it will never become a reality. There is no one turning point that I can look back at, but more of a general evolution of self that slowly transformed me. And maybe that was what worked. No immediate change can take place; you must be prepared to hunker down and commit to this decision.
This lifestyle change lead to a more confident me, no longer shy and reserved or hiding behind a quiet personality. I stopped worrying about what others thought of me, because chances were they weren’t even thinking about me at all. I became someone who was happy with what she had, not pining for what others had or what I thought I should have. This inner contentment has lead to an outer happiness that is quite apparent in my demeanor. I have been told I am more outgoing now, that I laugh more, that I exude a quiet confidence that belies the person I used to think I was.
It was not the easiest thing I have ever done, nor was it the most challenging, but I can say without doubt that it was one of the most gratifying changes I have come through, even though it resulted in the dissolution of my relationship . It gave me the courage to strike out on my own again after 14 years…
Somewhere along the way, I have come up with my own mantra:
Belief is powerful, belief in self is empowering.
2 comments:
This hits home with me today as I feel not as accomplished, I should be able to run harder faster when surrounded by greater athletes but then realize its me that thinks that not them or anyone else.
We are all so hard on ourselves. We our own worst critics. It doesn't matter who is 10 pounds lighter or heavier or who is 10 minutes/seconds faster or slower. If we can find inner satisfaction and accomplishment then we will shine on the outside. Shine on beautiful lady!
Karen
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