It is said, and reiterated by many, that it takes at least one year for a person to adjust to major life changes, be it a death in the family, a job transformation, a move or a change in a relationship; break-up, separation or divorce. This is because you have to undergo a full year’s worth of birthdays, celebrations and holidays to experience all the milestones that mark the passing of time, and then establish new memories and traditions.
I hit the one year mark this week. It has been an insightful year. It has had its sad moments, but most of all, it has been a year of renewal, reinvention and rebirth. I look back on the past year’s events with an open mind, and wonder who that person was who started this journey way back then. I reflect on the last year…
This is what I learned:
I have adjusted. I have healed. I have moved on. I have let go of guilt. I have embraced change. New perspectives are always around the corner. I have found new friends. I have rekindled old friendships. My family is my rock. I have learned to smile and laugh more. I like smiling and laughing. I have released my regrets. Life is too short to dwell on the past for very long. I value time. It’s OK to be selfish every now and then. Beer and gin can be considered food groups. Taking time for me makes me a better friend and mother to those close to me. The writer in me never really went away. I missed her. I need to feel. I crave creative outlets. Many of them. I require physical outlets. Many of them. Cancer sucks. I have found the balance I was missing. My children are more important than a clean apartment. Jumping on a trampoline can be liberating. So can laying there watching the stars. I am full of surprises. Sometimes things are easy. Sometimes things are just worth waiting for. I am patient. Time spent worrying is time well wasted. I like myself (a lot). Others like me too. I can be happy again. I am.
I am happy…
Thursday 23 August 2007
Friday 17 August 2007
Forward Looking
Do you ever fear that your anticipation of an event will overshadow the event itself? I firmly believe that if we had nothing to look forward to our lives would be pretty bleak. That may explain why religion can play such an important role in some people’s lives. Knowing that life has not been lived for naught, that there is a higher destiny waiting, tends to propel some people through their lives.
I am not a religious person – spiritual yes, religious, no. I don’t look to the end of my life thinking that redemption waits. But I do look to the end of each day, and hope that I can close my eyes at night, content with how I’ve handled myself. I try to stay optimistic – to begin each day with deep breaths and picture it playing out. I treat each day as an entity in and of itself. Breaking down life into these tiny segments makes it easier to stay on the positive side of things. Even though I know I will eventually lose my job, I still arrive at work fresh and believe that if I approach it in this manner that good things will happen. I guess it doesn’t matter what it is you look forward to, as long as you are looking ahead.
But getting back to the initial question…Can over-anticipation leave to disappointment? We’ve all been let down by things not playing out as we’d hoped. There’s a song by the band Yes called “Aim Low – Shoot High”. I think to not be disappointed in your life this should be a consideration. But how low does one have to aim to ensure you will hit the mark? And that may be the crux of my question…Lower your expectations and your disappointment level should follow proportionately. It is so easy to lecture this, and I have been just as guilty of having my excitement over an upcoming event eclipse the experience itself.
That was also when I viewed life in a different manner than I do today. Today, I keep my options open. I tend to feel that no matter what happens down the road, it will have been for a reason. Each person I meet, each decision I make, each day I wake, holds new possibilities for this writer. I am open to whatever life deals me. Accepting the consequences of those choices is also part of the process. I would rather be looking ahead, and not be as concerned with disappointment, than regretting what has already gone. For me, looking forward is not an option, it is a conscious choice, no matter what the outcome.
I am not a religious person – spiritual yes, religious, no. I don’t look to the end of my life thinking that redemption waits. But I do look to the end of each day, and hope that I can close my eyes at night, content with how I’ve handled myself. I try to stay optimistic – to begin each day with deep breaths and picture it playing out. I treat each day as an entity in and of itself. Breaking down life into these tiny segments makes it easier to stay on the positive side of things. Even though I know I will eventually lose my job, I still arrive at work fresh and believe that if I approach it in this manner that good things will happen. I guess it doesn’t matter what it is you look forward to, as long as you are looking ahead.
But getting back to the initial question…Can over-anticipation leave to disappointment? We’ve all been let down by things not playing out as we’d hoped. There’s a song by the band Yes called “Aim Low – Shoot High”. I think to not be disappointed in your life this should be a consideration. But how low does one have to aim to ensure you will hit the mark? And that may be the crux of my question…Lower your expectations and your disappointment level should follow proportionately. It is so easy to lecture this, and I have been just as guilty of having my excitement over an upcoming event eclipse the experience itself.
That was also when I viewed life in a different manner than I do today. Today, I keep my options open. I tend to feel that no matter what happens down the road, it will have been for a reason. Each person I meet, each decision I make, each day I wake, holds new possibilities for this writer. I am open to whatever life deals me. Accepting the consequences of those choices is also part of the process. I would rather be looking ahead, and not be as concerned with disappointment, than regretting what has already gone. For me, looking forward is not an option, it is a conscious choice, no matter what the outcome.
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