Sometimes I'm Afraid to Blog

The title says it all.

I have a word document on my computer that contains the start of numerous blogs entries and a few finished ones. I just haven’t published them. There are many reasons for this. I’ve had a few not-so-positive experiences with some entries that I had been initially quite proud to post. By nature I am not a controversial person. I avoid confrontation like the plague, probably to my detriment. I know I should stand up for what I believe, but there are times when I just have to stand down and take the easy way out, even if it means not being able to share some of my opinions. I’ve lost a friendship because one person mistakenly thought I was writing about them and took personal offense to the post in question. At the time I had no idea that the snarky comments and then ignored emails had anything to do with what I had written. By the time he finally said something (via email) about it it was too late to mend what was left because he had made it very clear that he had made up his mind.

 This saddened me, and made me begin to re-think everything I posted. It is exhausting when you have to examine everything you write and then go back over it with a fine-tooth comb and question whether one of your readers could misconstrue what you wrote. I sometime go for weeks between postings because I am just too lazy to cleanse my entries. It defeats what I initially thought was one of the purposes of blogging.

I have many friends who also blog and I am guilty at times of reading more into what they have written. But I give them the benefit of the doubt, and recognize that their opinions are just that, opinions.

 I began to write fluffy, reflective posts that told a heartwarming stories, or reviews on places I’ve travelled to, or race reports. But a part of me resented having to compromise what I really enjoyed writing.

 I debated starting up an anonymous blog so I could write unfettered. I may still do that.

 So if I haven’t posted for a few weeks it’s not because I’m not writing. I am…I’m just sorry that you won’t be able to see half of it.

What keeps me young…

I’ve had people tell me that I don’t look my age, which in itself is quite flattering. Aside from the good genes I was fortunate enough to inherit (my mother looks amazing) I think the reason is because I refuse to age. At least on the inside. My inner age is closer to 23 than my real age (which is nowhere near 23).

The secret? I try to surround myself with youth. I have two teenage boys and I don’t hesitate to climb a tree with them or pull out a nerf gun for an all-out battle. Keeping up with them keeps off the years. I work in a college, and the majority of the students I see on a daily basis are under 25, most are under 20. Listening to them talk and hearing what they talk about keeps me in the loop when it comes to current trends in music and movies.

I participate in “fun” activities – some physical, some not, but most keep me smiling. There’s nothing like bar-hopping around the downtown wearing a red dress with 25 of my closest drinking club buddies, or hitting some scenic single track mountain bike trails with friends, or just running barefoot down the street and enjoying the looks I get (even now with the minimalist trend taking off like it has).

I embrace physical activity…I run, I bike, I swim, I walk, I ski, I stretch, I lift weights, I hula-hoop and I can tell when I need to do one of these to keep myself sane.

I love to play and challenge my brain daily…with board games, crossword puzzles, Wii and computer games.

I also like to learn constantly. The more I learn, the more I want to learn.

And most of all I love to laugh (at silly cards in the stationary store, at sit-coms on television, with my kids when they start speaking in crazy voices and with my husband who somehow has the uncanny ability to make me chuckle with two or three words) and I love to surround myself with people who make me laugh.

Even if I can’t stay young forever, I can certainly do the most to feel that way.