Routinely breaking routine…

Routines can be comforting, but if we begin to rely on them completely, it is very easy to become boring, stagnant and stuck. Some people get too attached and then find they are unable to break free and the once reassuring routine becomes an obsessive hindrance that cannot be discarded as easily as shrugging off a jacket. It literally becomes a part of who they are as a person, and how they start to classify themselves. We need to be able to characterize ourselves by who we are inside more than by what we do outside.

Some routines are useful and can serve a purpose. My mornings are carefully choreographed to allow me time to drop off my children and get to work. It’s been broken every now and then due to an alarm not going off, or a snooze button pressed one too many times. On those rushed days, when I am scrambling, and my schedule goes out the window, so does my well ordered morning. I have forgotten to brush my teeth some days (thank goodness for a spare in my desk drawer!) and have wondered why there is no coffee in the pot because in my haste I didn’t fill the reservoir when I turned it on. But these little blips serve to show me how useful some daily habits can be. Some you just cannot break without consequence, like being at work on time. However, I have learned that others are accommodating, if you are willing to bend a little.

That’s where some lose it - being unwilling to flex. People say they simply have no choice, when actually they do. But the choice is between doing something, period, or not doing it at all. And that is where we differ. I have been a single mom for the last three years. I have my kids half time, makes it challenging to fit in training runs. So an after-work scheduled eight mile tempo can quickly become abbreviated to four or five to allow myself time to pick them up. But five is infinitely better than zero, so I take what I can get. At least I am willing to acknowledge it. Then there are times when it is just not possible to get out and run at all, and I accept that. Those days are used for weights and core training at home. There are people who would give up long before they hit the first obstacle and I feel sorry for them.

Each January I look at people who make New Year’s resolutions that end up shattered before the month is out. Most people don’t realize that before a habit can be formed you must repeat the action at least 21 times. Many people don’t make it past four or five. Just knowing that little fact makes it easier to form a plan, if indeed that is your honest intention. Once you have established your routine, only then should you begin to modify it. The willingness to adapt comes with making priorities in your life. Once that is sorted out, it all becomes easy. I like being the willow in the wind – I’m good at bending, and I’m not broken yet.

Putting it all out there…

I had always been afraid of speaking to a crowd – even if I knew everyone there. To present in front of my class, even as recently as six years ago nearly paralyzed me. All that changed when I joined a social running club. Our head was leaving and asked me to get involved; General consensus agreed, and I reluctantly stepped up into a position that utterly terrified me. I was expected to take control and speak in front of this group of people at each gathering, which differed in general makeup from week to week.

The first time I blatantly stuttered and left long empty pauses. Peoples’ expectant gazes as they waited for me to continue made my palms sweat. My heart skipped so many beats that I am sure I used up a couple months of my life in that short hour. I could barely meet anyone’s eyes, and I was positive they were all laughing at me inside. At the end of the first week I silently regretted the moment I agreed to take on this role. I was not cut out for such a visible position and I wondered how I could politely extract myself and just blend back into the group where I’d felt the most comfortable, because there no one noticed me, and there no one looked at me and I was used to that.

Ironically, it was my reluctance to say anything to anyone about how ill at ease I felt that kept me in that position, week after week. As I became more and more easy with the routine I found myself relaxing and my issues with speaking in front of a crowd began to fade, even if only with these people. If I had been given the choice or the means to change my mind, I’m sure I’d still be sweaty palmed and pale each time I opened my mouth with more than five people present.

Since that point, and on a daily basis, I try to initiate interactions with people, even if I feel shy or uncomfortable. I find the more I push myself, the easier things get. It doesn’t take a confident person to stand up in front of a group of people, but by doing so you will end up cultivating that confidence. To set yourself up for the possibility of failure, rejection or embarrassment requires a certain amount of courage. We all have it in some measure. In the end it doesn’t matter whether you succeed or not, what matters is you tried. Because it is just too easy to give up. You can hide and play it safe, and dig yourself deeper into your comfort zone or you can choose to take that leap, and experience the heart pounding rush that is often confused with fear: Exhilarating in its own right!