Turning 40…

…can be traumatic if you are not mentally prepared for the experience.

I vividly remember the day I turned 40. Oddly I wasn’t at all worried or concerned about entering a new decade, and had actually pinned a small sign on my cubicle wall that said, “I’m not 40, I’m 18 with 22 years experience!” I was actually looking forward to “starting the next ten” fresh and with a new attitude. That was foreshadowing at its best, and also better told in another topic.

I want to dedicate this topic to fabulous 40, and all those women in my life who have gracefully glided into this new age of elegance, maturity and extreme confidence. An e-mail circulated some time ago about how women age. As they get older they become more self-assured while men seem to do the opposite and hit their mid-life crisis early. Women embrace it, while men evade it.

I think when I turned 40 I became a woman in my own eyes, as opposed to the girl I’d always seen myself as. Getting married, having children, pursuing a career still didn’t convince me that I was all grown up. But the click of time into a new decade suddenly made it possible for me to see that there was a self-possessed woman underneath that once scared little girl.

Someone very special to me recently made the transition to her 40th year. This person in particular has overtaken this decade with more grace than I could ever begin to muster. With the dawning of the day she has claimed this decade as her own. I’ve always admired her elegance and easy-going effortless way of doing things. She attacks each day with a gusto that most people would envy. Things seem to flow around her, even when stress threatens to close in. She has a magical way of putting things right. Her seemingly unhurried ways and precision of plans show an intense amount of internal strategy, yet she does not crack at the seams. She is successful and poised in her career which has yet to ascend to the heights she deserves. If I were to name a poster-child for turning 40, she would be framed on my wall. Anyone reading this who is dreading the big 4-0, and thinks that this is where it ends should take a page out of her book.

And speaking of books, Mary Kay and Arnold Patent both had it right…”You Can Have it All”. You just have to decide what it is you want, and not be afraid to go after it. 40 is a glorious time in your life. Don’t waste it.